Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Coming and Going

Other than with my children, I'm not a particularly "touchy" person. At the beginning of my relationship with Tom, one of his friends actually complained to him about my lack of comfort with physical demonstrativeness. Well, obviously, we must have sufficient physical contact since we do have three children as evidence of our "couplings." The lack of physical exuberance on my part, is more than likely related to the sense of unapproachability, of which I'm sometimes accused. In case you are unaware, Germans are known much more for their efficiency and timeliness than they are for their fuzzy warmth. I'm gratified to have recently learned (thanks again, Yas!) that the type of hugging I'm most comfortable with has a name: A-Frame Hugging. The A-Frame is defined as a hug in which only the shoulders and arms connect while the remainder of the body is held apart. I refuse to accept that this is an inferior type of embrace. Would you consider an A-Frame house to be a sub par structure? I think not. Perhaps, my style of hugging has evolved in response to the grinding and dry-humping I have witnessed over the years while chaperoning High School dances. I don't suppose anyone has considered that maybe I'm just doing my part to restore balance in a world filled with overly graphic, public, physical displays.

Since it would be insufficient to merely mock my greeting modus operandi without addressing my departure technique, I will freely share with you my method of escape. I learned recently that there was a name for the way I like to leave, be it from a party, an evening at work, or at the airport or train station: the Irish Goodbye. Regardless of whether it is a romantic break-up or the ending of a social event, I've always hated to say goodbye. I've been known to tell people that I "don't do goodbyes," prior to quietly departing unnoticed. There was definitely a strong sense of relief when I became aware that I am not the only person afflicted by this character flaw (idiosyncrasy?) and that I apparently represent both sides of my lineage equally, in things other than beer consumption.

In conclusion, if I don't give you a full frontal embrace, or you notice that I'm gone but don't recall my saying goodbye, please don't take it personally. The distance between our bodies does not diminish the closeness of my heart.

7 comments:

  1. i have a different sort of reaction, but there is not a box that accurately describes said reaction. thus, i leave my first comment.

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  2. That is a your comment?!? For this, I've waited?

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  3. I have personally come to accept the fact that there is no "right or wrong" amount of physically affection a person likes to exhibit or use in a relationship. I feel strongly that there is a "spectrum" for so many things in life, not just color. Some are comfortable at one end of the physical spectrum that requires or prefers very little physical contact while others are on the total opposite side, wanting and expressing a lot of physical contact. I do not think there is a right or wrong to a persons place on that spectrum. I always thought that a physical "sign" of affection was the way people expressed love, friendship because I was raised by a very affectionate father. However, as I grew, observed my best friend since 4 years old, (whom happens to be German and her family showed very little affection) and through other experiences, I just down right think that it is rude to judge someone on their level of affection. So, with that begin said, I suggest that you continue to be who you are, as you are, and that if people feel the need to judge you, they are just wrong. There is NO right or wrong way about it all.

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  4. Just the phrase dry-humping has me laughing out loud! So funny..where do you find these pictures?

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  5. Personally speaking,that Silvia smile replaces the need for any stinking hug

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  6. Do A-Frame huggers mind more outgoing huggers like myself?

    While I'm a blogger and inherently socially awkward at times, I'm generally a hugger and cheek kisser. I didn't think this was all that odd until I met a friend's fiance recently, who introduced me as "AJ" *pause and hug* "... Yeah, she's a hugger."

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  7. @Karen - Google images, mostly. This one totally cracked me up - like dry humping!
    @Jodie - Thank you
    @AJ - I don't judge - whatever makes you happy. As long as it doesn't involve head-to-toe contact w/me, that is.

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