|image from: dordognequilter.files.wordpress.com|
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I'm not certain when or how I developed that outlook on life, but it has served me well for many years and I have no plans to abandon this philosophy any time soon. I find that sometimes understanding the reason for an occurrence is almost immediate, but other times it may take years to make the connection between events and situations. I'm absolutely certain that by remaining aware and open, eventually the relationship between two seemingly disparate circumstances will be revealed and that brings me to where I am these days...
Have you ever felt like all the big decisions have been made in your life? The questions have been answered regarding where you're going to go to school, what career you will have, who you will partner with and where you will live, how many children you will have and what their names will be... all the things you wondered about on sleepless nights and during sunny afternoons lying in the grass staring at the sky... all of it... settled. And, if you've had that recognition - how did it make you feel? Comforted? Secure? Or, maybe, just maybe a little trapped? In Bridge of Sighs, Richard Russo described the feeling "...but, each of them had walked through an open door, then heard it slam shut behind them and the mechanism lock. While neither regretted her decision, knowing the door was locked was disconcerting just the same..." When I read this passage a few years ago, it resonated deeply within me and I immediately noted the passage. I knew that feeling.
Recent events have convinced me that I now have a legitimate opportunity to step out of the box which I've been living in and to explore what I want. It is, of course, scary, but I absolutely refuse to be dominated by fear. I prefer to focus on the liberating aspects of my current situation and will not re-enter the box, nor hear that door lock again, until I am absolutely certain I am where I want to be.