Driven to eat

Do you know I like to drive in loops and not just back and forth using the same route?  And that I like to find little joints along the way?  Read about it on Vinoteca!
Driven to eat

Did you know I went to Cornell?

Read all about my history in the Ivy League!

My never-ending love affair with Mario Batali...

Or - Check payable: Mario Batali

Lunch at Union Square Cafe

I had a great lunch recently in New York City.  All the details are at my new(ish) Wordpress site here. 

Breathe, breathe in the air

Check it out over here at my WordPress spot.

Hot Yoga

post-Bikram

Seems like everyone knows about my passion for running, but did you know I have another activity that challenges and strengthens me?  Yep, it even provides balance for the physical demands of pounding the pavement as well as an opportunity to tune in mentally to my body in a manner that running, due to the necessity of remaining aware of what is going on in my surroundings,  does not offer.  May I present one of my favorite four-letter words - yoga!

I first experienced yoga as a sixth grader.  There was an after school program at my elementary building and I enjoyed it as much as a self conscious prepubescent girl could.  I was a very active kid and remarkably flexible, so it appealed to me immediately.  I think that 12 was a little young for me to grasp the mental component, though.  Actually, that probably remains my biggest challenge.

Over the years I've practiced yoga with varying degrees of commitment. When my older boys were young, I took a class at the JCC in Albany taught by Cameron Thomas. (Ironically enough, she mediated my divorce last year - small world, huh?) Cameron was the perfect yogi - she was meticulous about form and taught me a lot about the poses and breathing.

I've told you before how much I enjoy the Sunday morning class at the Yoga Loft, but I've been expanding my horizons, particularly while on vacation.  For the third summer, I've taken yoga classes taught by Patty Renaud in Wellfleet. The classes aren't incredibly physically challenging, but they do provide an excellent opportunity for me to mentally release.  I've been really close to dozing at the end of class - a true vacation.

Last winter when I was in Palm Springs (yeah, I like saying that) I found a studio that offered a variety of classes.  I managed to squeeze 4 classes in during my 5 days, two of which were modified Bikram classes.  I don't know much about Bikram, or "hot" yoga, other than it is an ass-kicking workout, even when it is abbreviated to 70 minutes and 102 degrees.

Last week on Martha's Vineyard I took two legit Bikram classes - 90 minutes, 104 degrees in the studio.  I wisely paid for two classes ($16 plus $2 to rent a mat) guaranteeing that I would return a second time.  Seeing as how during the initial class I was afraid that I was either going to die, pass out or puke, it was a good move.

If you are interested in a workout that stretches your muscles and relaxes your brain, I heartily recommend finding a Bikram studio.  I've heard good things about this place, but haven't yet made it there myself.  This type of yoga is not for the faint of heart - bring plenty of water and move into the poses with caution if you're inexperienced with practicing.  And be prepared to literally drip sweat from virtually every pore.  And speaking of that - apologies to those unfortunate enough to have set their mats up next to mine on Friday.  Hope I didn't sweat any of Thursday night's tequila on you.  I was on vacation, after all.

What's wrong with oysters?

After days without wifi - a DelSo Wordpress post!

Beach Bonfire - UPDATED with photos!

When I was polling the boys, prior to our annual Cape Cod trip, about what they might be interested in doing Griffin requested a bonfire on the beach.  Yep, the same boy who took surfing lessons and wanted to visit L.A.  He's a dude in the making, fer sure.  

The process for legally having a fire at one of a select few of Wellfleet's beaches (3 ocean beach options) is fairly straight forward: you must have a permit and permits are issued on a first come, first served basis, day of only. By the time I hit the beach office at 10:00 in the morning, two of the three beaches were "full" already, leaving White Crest, a beach I don't recall visiting in the past, as our default option.  Because a full moon was expected, I happily took my free permit and mentally made a to-do list...

The little guys were in charge of gathering kindling wood and they did a super job making a pile of sticks and twigs.  Actually, they made two piles, one of which was firewood.  The other stack of branches was their arsenal of stick weapons.  Mostly rifles, I believe.  Both stacks were tossed into the car, and ultimately on to the fire, a situation which required profuse apologies and promises of weapon gathering come daylight.  Additional items acquired included graham crackers (we already had Hershey bars and marshmallows), more significant wood to burn (we had to choose from "hardwood" or "softwood." Have at it, jokesters!) and a lighter.  With all materials in hand, we headed to the beach just in time to see the moon seemingly rise from the majestic Atlantic.  Stunning.

You may have noticed I neglected to mention paper to assist in starting the fire.  

We neglected to think of, much less, bring paper.  No worries.  We cleaned our cars out of expired insurance id cards, printed out directions and other miscellaneous bits of paper from our glove boxes.  And the graham cracker box was pretty handy, too.  I have to say, we built a stupendous fire.  It was perfectly constructed in that pyramid/tepee shape and it burned beautifully. 

 

There was a breeze blowing from the south (east?) and the flames danced in the darkness as the moon played hide and seek with some errant clouds.  Marshmallows were toasted and our wild things frolicked on the beach, amped on sugar and salt air. Memories were made which will remain vivid far beyond the glow of our fire's embers. 

Great idea, Griffin.

Mama's boys to men

Two of my three sons are now taller than me. I rarely look at them without shaking my head in amazement. When did that happen? I've officially been a parent for a third of my life. How is that possible? My boys are turning into young men in front of my very eyes and the evolution is remarkable.

There have been some recent instances which have caused my heart to swell with pride and satisfaction, occasions that have certainly bolstered my positive response to those who inquire about how the boys are doing. In the past couple of weeks, the boys have demonstrated to me that beyond merely being fine, they are, in fact, growing up nicely. My 15 year-old opened my eyes to this fact by pointing out that I don't let him help me. It was a simple statement but I've heard his words repeating in my ears since he spoke them. And I'm trying.

We watched a wonderful movie the other night, Midnight in Paris. I know, welcome to spring 2011, right? Anyway - I'm glad we delayed viewing this movie until the ideal time because we both were utterly charmed. It was a lovely, lovely film. During one of the scenes, as the camera panned around the magnificence that is Paris, Liam asked me if I wanted to go there. I assumed he was angling to add a day or two to our hoped for trip next year - the visit to Germany that he has requested for "his" next special trip. I've been to Paris before, but only long enough to determine that it was the most beautiful city I'd ever visited.  I acknowledged to him that I would love to go to Paris again and he said I should go next year.  When I pointed out that he was in the rotation for next year's trip, he asked me a stunning question: 'Mom, when is it your turn?"

Well...isn't that an interesting perspective. 

Get a room! (Part 2)

Continued from here -

For nights 2 and 3 of our winter break, we shifted our base to an Embassy Suites in the Old Town area of Alexandria, VA, a 15-20 minute ride on the Blue Line of the Metro system.  I've stayed here before and I like the location.  It is close enough to D.C., around the corner from some great retail shopping and restaurants on King Street and very comfortable.  We did, however, have an issue.  The hotel is being renovated, which meant that the breakfast service was a bit disjointed.  I don't expect to eat in a hotel using disposable flatware - call me princess if you must.  The other issue was something we had, ironically, encountered during our other stay at this particular hotel.  The pool, other than our first day, was unavailable due to maintenance.  Had I been made aware of this scheduled maintenance, we would have perhaps stayed all three nights at the Foggy Bottom location.  Here's what's cool, though. I Tweeted about my annoyance and within an hour, received an email from corporate apologizing for the situation.  Ultimately, I was credited the price of one night's accommodations to compensate me for the inconvenience, a nice gesture on their part.  I would still consider staying at this hotel in the future, but I would certainly confirm the availability of the advertised amenities.

The magnificent marble stairs at the Monaco

In Baltimore we stayed in the plushest digs of our trip, the Kimpton Monaco.  This recently opened hotel is in a gorgeous historic building and our room was fantastic!  The superior quality of this place was apparent even to my 7 y/o, who quickly declared it to be the "best place" we stayed.  Our room was spacious, quiet and included a banging bathroom complete with garden tub and walk in shower. and my favorite Aveda products as a bonus. Our two days here were exceedingly comfortable and we were very well taken care of by the staff.  Price-wise we lucked out with a deal from Hotwire and paid only $200 and change total for 2 nights.  Speaking of Hotwire, another special offer came my way while we were in Baltimore which provided me the opportunity to cancel the reservation we had in place for our final night in NYC at the Radisson.

The Hotel Belleclaire, a small boutique hotel on the UWS, was offering a special for approximately $115 a night and I pounced on it.  The hotel was just west of Broadway on 77th  Street - a great location for exploring, or revisiting, one of my favorite areas of Manhattan.  The lobby was being renovated, which made for some noise and dust upon entry, but the staff couldn't have been more accommodating, storing our luggage and providing a suite to guests complete with snacks and beverages.  The room itself was standard NYC small, but it was clean (no skeevy carpet!) and equipped with a modern bathroom and a comfortable bed.  I would definitely consider staying here again, although it is more appropriate for a couple than a family.  Guess I'd better work on that!

I've come to the conclusion, however, that my favorite hotel in New York City is the Millenium Hilton, on Church Street in the financial district.  A week after my epic train trip with my youngest, I headed back to the city with my oldest and this is where we stayed.  I believe I've stayed at this particular Hilton at least a half dozen times and I've never had a bad experience. The staff is always pleasant, the room immaculate and the location perfect for my needs. And there's a pool! I know that I've landed at this place through the luck of the draw when using Hotwire and/or Priceline, but most recently I've been booking using a combination of Hilton Honors points and cash. The going rate for this place on a weekend is often a bit less than the more centrally located Hiltons in Manhattan, generally about $250 a night, I'd say. Using a combination of points and cash brings it down to about $100 a night - a real New York bargain. The added bonus of staying in the business district is that onstreet parking is generally available on weekends and holidays, which can save you a bundle. If you're unfamiliar with this part of the city, be aware it is NOT like midtown - at all. There isn't much in the way of shopping other than Brooks Brothers (natch) and Century 21. No worries - there is a Starbuck's around the corner and tons of green space for kids and adults alike, as well as the 9/11 Memorial, the Staten Island Ferry,  Southstreet Seaport and the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm already thinking about gathering up the girls and getting down there again - asap.

Get a room!

The Westin in Boston

Radisson on Lexington, NYC

There's a part of me that keeps waiting for life to slow down a little - it has been a pretty wild ride for the last 6 weeks or so, and I really am hoping to spend some quality time at home, putzing in my front garden and getting a few spring cleaning chores accomplished.  My busy family/ social calendar has provided me with a number of recent opportunities to stay in hotels and I thought it might be interesting to relate my experiences to you all, for what it's worth.

In the last month and a half, I have stayed at 6 different hotels in 4 different states - 5, if we include the District of Columbia.  We all know that hotels can be expensive, and I'm a fan of getting a good deal in all things travel related, so let me offer you some tips. 

1. Create an email account just for travel related websites.  I receive offers from Hotwire, Hotels.com, Travel Ticker, Groupon, Living Social and Travelocity and it's nice to have them all in one place devoted to travel. 
2. Consider linking your credit card with a rewards program.  I like the Hilton family of hotels (Hilton, Hilton Garden Inn, Embassy Suites, etc) and often use my credit card to earn points even if I have the cash in my pocket to make a purchase. 
3. If there's a problem with your accommodations, don't suffer in silence!  Give the business an opportunity to correct the issue and make you happy.  That's how companies create repeat business and brand loyalty. Now, some specific hotel information from my recent travels...

I was in Boston at the end of January for a wonderful surprise birthday party. The Westin was the perfect place to stay for me - an easy walk to my transportation hub, South Station, and a Starbuck's right in the lobby.  My most favorite thing about this hotel, though, was the available map of recommended running routes.  It definitely is a niche thing, but one that I found to be the perfect amenity for me.

The first night, and also the last night, of my February train trip was booked at the Radisson on Lexington Ave in NYC.  Well, initially, that was the plan.  I had jumped on a Hotwire deal ($118 a night) and reserved the "bookend" nights of our vacation in a spot that would be convenient to Grand Central Station.  Upon our arrival, though, I began to consider other options.  The hotel wasn't bad, it just wasn't great.  The carpeting seemed dirty and the bathroom was really small.  The proximity to Central Park was good and the staff was pleasant, but, I certainly wasn't looking forward to returning to this place.  

Koi pond!

Since we were arriving in D.C. after dark, I thought we should spend our initial night in a location convenient to Union Station.  I selected the an Embassy Suites in the Foggy Bottom area of D.C. and then proceeded to navigate our way to the wrong Embassy Suites.  Oh, well, it was a lovely, mild night and we ultimately jumped into a cab to get there.  We were feeling beat and we indulged in takeout delivery, which is one of my fairly new, favorite things to do - very self-indulgent.  This hotel was nice and the standard Embassy Suites courtyard was kicked up a notch by the addition of a Koi pond, a cool bonus that came with an opportunity to feed the fish in the morning.  The best thing, though, in my opinion, about the Embassy Suites is how perfectly they are set up for families.  From the two-room suite to the generous breakfast and the evening cocktail hour (manager's reception), they really know how to provide value.  And how to address a less than happy guest, but that story is for part two of this post.

To be continued...

Madame Tussaud's with Quinn

Thanks to a Groupon deal, Quinn and I visited Madame Tussaud's last week while we were in D.C. This sort of place isn't usually my cup of tea, but Quinn was excited to see the Presidents and celebrities, so off we went. At $20 for 2, I thought it was a decent value - at any more than that I would have felt ripped off. The photos below should give you an idea of Quinn's often inappropriate irreverent sense of humor...

George and Quinn

Quinn Wilkes Booth

Quinn and Franklin

Winston and Quinn

Soldier Quinn

I like Ike (and Quinn)

Quinn Kennedy

Space Boy Quinn

Quinn and Bob

Quinn and Tiger

Quinn and Ali

Michael and Quinn

5 Travel Don'ts

1. Do not overbook. What's the point of running yourself ragged? If you schedule an event or activity for each moment there's zero time for spontaneity and unexpected cool things.

2. Do not overpack. As the girl with the heaviest suitcase on my first trip to Europe, I learned a couple of important lessons, including that my friends won't let me forget that I had the heaviest suitcase. And that it is way more satisfying to use every single article of packed clothing than it is to bring items that remain unworn.

3. Don't hesitate to ask for late checkout and register complaints about accommodations when appropriate. On my latest trip, I tweeted my dissatisfaction with the fact that our hotel's pool was not available, just like it had been last time we were there 6 years ago. I was contacted by the hotel and ultimately was given a credit equal to the cost of one night's accommodation.

4. Don't ever, ever, ever go to chain restaurants when traveling. Branch out - ask locals or Yelp for suggestions on where to eat. Or stay home.

5. Don't underestimate how important it is to leave your home in the condition you want to find it upon your return. Remember - nothing says welcome home like clean sheets.

Blessed

image from wikipedia

I'm calling this in. From paradise aka Palm Springs, CA. There may be more typos than usual. I may be almost sipping my second margarita. I am, without a doubt,

Blessed...

1. To be alive, the ultimate blessing, but so infrequently  appreciated in a conscious fashion. Sometimes the lack of appropriate acknowledgment of what a gift life is comes from a place of ignorance, kitten eyes not yet opened. Other times it is a more conscious decision. Looking too closely can be traumatic for all involved. But, when you see that place inside of you come alive again after the drought that had been your daily life, you understand. 

2. Love. Giving it, receiving it, feeling it, seeing it, tasting it. Yep, love

3. Strength - being able to propel one's way through life is a gift. Period.

4. The opportunity to travel and visit places both new and familiar.

5. An appreciation of beauty. In so many ways.

6. Optimism. I really do believe it is all going to be all right.  And if it isn't, I've always got my strength.

7. Discipline. Not in a dominatrix  sort of way. Sorry, fellas! I just know and accept that some things have to happen. Responsibilities and commitments have to be respected. Always. 

8. Creativity. I can look into a refrigerator with 6 eggs, a hunk of cheese and some leftover ham and give you 3 courses. Easy. I can figure stuff out. I sometimes make attractive things - beyond those boys. 

9. The knowledge that happiness is good.  And possible.

10. The ability to hope. Imagine being hopeless?  That is a sad state of being.

11.  Friends who love me long and hard. No, really. In the purest of senses. Their position as last in my list is a testament to their position as a part of me. 

Hurricane Prep ~ Lilly Boy Style

Is there a better way to prepare for a major tropical storm than practicing getting tossed around by water and wind?  I don't think so!  Screw that filling up the tub with water nonsense and buying more toilet paper than a typical family of four uses in a month of eating tacos.  Not here - we prepared for the elements.  We built up our tolerance for being splashed in the face and getting our feet and bodies drenched.  Bring it on, Irene!

We're at the point in the summer when we make a mad dash to attempt to squeeze in all the adventures and escapades possible to reflect upon during Albany's long(ish) winter. Zoom Flume has been on our to-do list ever since I cut that $5 from the Times Union months ago.  The fact that I could put my hands on said coupon is a reflection of my mad organizational skills - and the fact that 20 bucks is 20 bucks and I wasn't tossing that away recklessly.  Speaking of reckless...

See that shadow of a boy in the Mighty Anaconda?  That's my Quinn, who decided yesterday to brave all the attractions I would permit, despite his newly acquired, rather crude, swimming skills.  Damn him and his excessive height (48" at age 6!) because now he can basically partake in any of the attractions other than one which specifies swimming ability as a requirement.  I must admit, his big brothers were awesome lifeguards for him, remaining in the water to shepard Quinn out as necessary.  Good job, guys!

Zoom Flume is less than an hour south of Albany and a perfect place to give your kids a little length in their leash.  It's small with maybe 10 or 12 water rides and/or play areas.  I may get one more season of all three boys being entertained with what's offered here - beyond that, I think we'll be aging out.  It's one of those old school, Irish Alps kind of places.  They're really chill about allowing you to bring in picnic items and the folks who work there are pretty pleasant.  Unlike last year when we visited Great Escape, at about the same point in the summer, ZF is fully staffed with all attractions open.  The lines were really short, parking was convenient (and free) and we left there feeling as if we got good value for $20 per person. 

Is it fancy?  Nope.  Is it well maintained and clean?  Yep.  New for 2011 was the Riptide Cove Wave Pool, a smallish wave pool that the boys found to be a little "lame" after days spent swimming off Chappaquiddick earlier this month.  If you're lucky enough to have less blase' children than I do, I'm sure they'd find it to be enjoyable.  The best part of that particular attraction for me, was the available chaise lounge where I was comfortable enough with the safety of the pool to grab a quick nap. 

The ZF season runs until 9/5 so there's still time to get there, assuming we all survive Irene.  Better go prepare for Mother Nature's next temper tantrum by filling up the bathtub with water.  And bubbles!

Table for 5 (or why dinner as a family can be continued despite impending divorce)

I believe most people get married believing it is forever, not for ever. Introducing children to a relationship adds some additional concrete to the mix and, when all is said and done within the marriage and it is time to move on from being a couple, the presence of children continues to cement the two of you together for the imaginable future. Obvious, right? Nothing ground-breaking, just classic, common sense.

Although it is evident that every marriage has its own unique set of circumstances, it seems that divorces meet a few consistent themes. Usually they involve a quality of life diminishment, damage to the children, complicated visitation and financial arrangements, a complete re-writing of the holidays and traditions...

Positive impacts of divorce, and there is the potential for there to be some, aren't spoken about in anything above a whisper. Things like more focused parenting, increased time for personal interests and pursuits, less conflict, opportunities to rewrite holidays and traditions...

Every family has meaningful rites, whether it is the appreciative phrase one says as they arrive safely at home, or a special song played during a particular annual car trip. Things that have significance. I think most of these rituals are priceless, yet cost nothing. Why wouldn't a family want to continue these traditions? With some sensitivity and humor, I think it can (and should) happen - everyone benefits.

So, we gathered together as a family of five for a few days at the beach and everyone survived, I mean thrived. Picnic lunches were shared, our natural rhythm of tag team parenting easily fell back into place, and we went to our family's beach joint for a meal, where we sat together as a party of five. Instead of the boys recalling this as the summer their parents split, maybe they'll remember making some more family beach memories with Mom and Dad. And we'll all try to remain cognizant that a table for five is a privilege, not a punishment.

Mangez Montreal

Until last weekend, I hadn't been to Montreal for about 5 years.  My last visit there was during the dark GWB years when we packed up the family and fled to Canada for Thanksgiving - a small protest made memorable by our turkey Peking Duck dinner in Chinatown.  Obviously much is different these days - we're all a little older, our family dynamic has evolved and the Canadian dollar is kicking our American dollar's ass.  Case in point - a lunch consisting of 2 orders of Steak Frittes, a bottle of dry rose' and a tuna salad plate, set me back more than $120 American.  Yes, really.  

$25 of steak frittes

Griffin very much enjoyed his late lunch despite there being salad on the plate, and not enough steak for his appetite.  The lunch definitely hit the spot, but maybe it  was the cold wine on a hot day that charmed me, as we sat outside at a table overlooking the pedestrian walkway of Place Jacques-Cartier.   Naturally, seeing as how Griffin wasn't quite full from lunch, despite my mommy generosity in sharing my steak, we required gelato to top him off prior to our evening's adventures.  It was our bonne chance that just what we needed was right next door to our hotel.  The tiramisu did it for me, while G was more than happy with his cone of stracciatella.  I have to say, I was a tad proud when he ordered an Italian flavor  of gelato in a French speaking city.  These boys of mine are going to be fine...

Yum, like a smile, is the same in every language, oui?

This was my first experience with Montreal in full out summer and it was certainly hopping on a late Friday afternoon in July.  Of course, this was a huge weekend with an expected 80,000 concert goers, in addition to the normal summer tourism traffic, beckoned by the city's great public spaces, museums, dining spots and attractions.  I need to get back there -rapidement!

Roadtrip Montreal!

A mere 18 months after purchasing our tickets, Griffin and I, at long last, drove north to catch Bono and the boys live at the Hippodrome.  As I explained to G, leaving the country to see a U2 show at the ripe old age of 12, is an experience not to be belittled - nor will he be doing anything like this sans parent for many years to come.  Which, I suppose means he won't be repeating this episode period, since apparently my dancing, screaming and general jumping up and down, embarrassed him beyond belief.  Oh, well.  I've got someone else in mind for my next trip out of the country anyway.

But, back to this trip...the drive was uneventful and we skirted around the main border crossing thanks to a tip from my friend, Kevin.  After checking in to our hotel, we grabbed a quick bite to eat and then headed for the show convinced that getting there was going to require patient efforts.  And, we were right.  Seriously, Montreal Metro folks, how about opening up more than a single window for ticket sales?  I mean, oui, I understand there is that single automated ticket machine, but when you're expecting 80,000 to travel to a venue where there is no parking, what were you thinking?  Eventually, we got there, happy to be freed from the packed to the gills train on a very hot evening.  There was a short walk to the actual venue and we settled into a comfortable spot on the "floor" of the arena. prepared for our universe to be rocked.  Things here were fairly well organized - lots of porta potties, vending and plenty of concession people circulating with cold, expensive beverages.  But, who cares about any of that?  It was about the show dammit! 

The "Claw"

I was fortunate enough to have seen this show in '09 at Gilette Stadium, and I've got to tell you, it is, as always, the best show I've ever seen.  The set, the sound, the effects, the MUSIC, the BAND...incredible.  Always.  I can't describe it any better than, for me,  seeing U2 is like being served Mass at the Vatican.  By the pope.  Amazing.  The set list is here and there are a couple more pictures below.  The band will be at Giants' Stadium next week - anyone have an extra ticket?  I'll drive.

Pass(ing it) Over

While on vacation in Palm Springs, I participated in my first Seder. What a wonderful experience! It was everything I'd ever imagined - filled with ritual, food based, and slightly chaotic. The perfect religious and special meal. The opportunity to enjoy a Seder dinner arose when Griffin and I visited an old friend of mine. The last time my friend, Roberta, and I had spent time together was nearly 25 years ago and it had been a bit of a disaster. If I had to sum up that 3 week visit (I know, a ridiculous length of time, but I had lived with them in the past as their nanny/project) in 10 words, it would look something like this: Joshua Tree, tequila, tears, Corona, turquoise bikini, fake i.d., regret. Yep, that's what it was, in 110 degrees of dry heat.

This brief Passover stop over was as sweet as Kosher wine. We talked, we laughed, we told stories to Griffin, and when Griffin finally surrendered to sleep, we talked about exciting things offered by the future...lovely. I took Griffin to some places I had been introduced to a quarter of a century earlier (dramatic, huh?) and we ate the best cinnamon bun ever. As I shared these experiences with my boy, an entirely other thing was going on as Roberta and I talked about her and her daughter, the child I had been a nanny to so many years ago. The child who now had a daughter of her own, who looked remarkably the same as her mother had during the years we all lived in the same village in Orange County, N.Y. There was an incredible exchange of memories and impressions and reminiscences as we shared the impact we had each made upon each others' lives. 

Roberta was the first person who truly forced me to accept ownership of my life and where I wanted to be.  She taught me how to make quiche and to put some distance between myself and the steering wheel when driving, and she broke me of my annoying habit of using the word "goes" in place of "says."  You know: then she goes blah blah blah.  There are pieces of her that now reside within me and that is an amazing gift for someone to have given of themselves.  Her daughter, Leah, was less than two when I began taking care of her all those years ago.  At that time in my life I was very involved in gymnastics - practicing back handsprings and side aerials for hours in a friend's basement.  I started teaching Leah how to do backbends and cartwheels and she totally fell in love with the sport.  The two previous trips I had made to the desert decades ago, included time spent shuttling Leah 90 minutes each way to the gym where she trained and competed.  She now owns a gymnastics gym in Palm Springs and our trip coincided with Leah's daughter's, 7 year-old Rachel, very first meet as a gymnast.  Wow - talk about being significant in someones life!  As a teacher I've often said that it is a true privilege to work with kids and I am blown away by the role I played in Leah's (and subsequently Rachel's) life. 

Although there was a lot of looking backwards in the desert visit, there was an equal amount of looking forward.  The uninitiated may imagine the desert as an infertile place lacking in hospitality, seemingly barren.  Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth, for me.  My soul was absolutely bathed in love, support and reminders of how some connections remain intact despite time and distance.  The recognition of the impact created when one passes on wisdom and tradition  to people one loves, paired beautifully with the Passover holiday.  Unforgettable.

Travel as education

I love to travel. I thoroughly enjoy visiting new places and hope that I am able to impart my enthusiasm and respect for different locations to my children. Experiencing how people beyond your own community live is a terrific way to grow, I think, and can help one understand the lives others may lead. After 4 days with an 11 year old as my sole companion, I've come to some conclusions, both about our little trip and the longer journey my boys are personally taking through life. Please indulge me as I share some thoughts...

Despite their best intentions, children are apparently unable to understand consequences on a theoretical level - they need real situations with real outcomes. I can actually see my son's eyes glaze over as I talk to him about what might have happened because of his actions. Either it happened or it didn't, that's all he can grasp at this point in his development. When I got on his case today about being aware of the impact of his actions, (in this instance he was walking a curb tightrope until he faltered and landed flatly on someone's carefully planted garden with his big skater boy sneaker), he was more annoyed with me than he was sorry for his misstep, which, of course, irritated me. I hammered him until he admitted that it was a bad idea to precariously walk so near to someone else's garden, but I could tell he still didn't get it because nothing "bad" really happened. Making a child understand the sanctity of another's space or possessions is really hard! Later in the afternoon, when I was frantically searching for the car keys so I could drive to a class at the local Y, car keys he had last been in possession of, he saw the ramifications of his carelessness. It was pretty clear that HE had been thoughtless and because of his lack of care, I was now unable to do something I wanted, I mean needed, to do. Which, in turn meant I was going to be less than happy and might mean we wouldn't be going to the movies and could cause me to be so pissed as to cancel his surfing lesson. Cause and effect, right?

The things I want most for my children aren't possessions - they are experiences. I've joked for many years that I have no intention of paying for the boys to go to college. I'll help, but I don't think it is my job as a parent to automatically sponsor their college education. For me, it is more important that I provide them with exposure to the world at large. So, I take them to as many places as I can - concerts, shows, museums, cities... Any place they have an interest in, and I have the means to get them there, is fair game. College? There are loans and part time jobs and scholarships for that, figure it out. I think the years leading up to college can, and should, be just as eye opening as four years on campus. Plus, it's way more fun to learn when there aren't papers to write or books to buy, right? Got to go - someone has a surfing lesson this afternoon!