Rock & Run recap

SPAC ~ May 20, 2012

Can I blame my less than stellar time (28:27) on Max London?  No, probably not, but I can thank Capriccio Saratoga for the excellent Pasta Puttanesca carb load we enjoyed Saturday night.  I can also say,  that it was a hot morning and a hillier than expected course.  And a lot of fun!  I wish I had taken more photos but I learned during this event that it is really difficult to participate in and photograph the same event.  There were so many shots I didn't get, including of the bands scattered along the course, that I left feeling a tad disappointed.  Really though, how down can a girl feel after running on a beautiful day with a couple of great friends?

This was the third year for this event and I'm already looking forward to running it again in 2013.  And besting my time, of course.

May Day

image: http://s3-media4.ak.yelpcdn.com

In Germany, where my mother comes from, May 1st is a holiday.  There are flowers and Maypole dancing and tree planting ceremonies on this day which celebrates spring's midway point. It is a sweet, sweet day, reminiscent of a more simple time. My mother, the third of fifteen children, never really celebrated her own birth on this special day, nor really on any other day. For her, May Day was just another day to be disappointed by life.

My second child was due on May 1st, 1999, his soon-to-be-Oma's 61st birthday.  I was mildly distressed by this coincidence because I certainly didn't want my child to share a birthday with someone who didn't acknowledge her own life with joy. Of course, since there was little I could do to determine Baby #2's arrival day, I just hoped for an early arrival and, when my water broke on April 29th, I knew I got lucky.   Griffin Hudson arrived exactly one day early, beautifully pink with a hearty cry and a bald head. Unfortunately, his birth was a disappointment to my mother since she had fervently wished that I would have a daughter. You know, a girl as revenge for all the trouble I had caused her during my teen years, trouble I presumably still cause as an adult. At least one of us was happy.

I remember bringing Griffin home from the hospital, driving down Hackett Avenue and noticing that in the 2 short days since Griffin joined our family, everything looked different. The tulip beds in the median had popped and the blue sky was filled with white cottony fuzz from some unknown tree. Spring had arrived with this perfect baby boy.

Although I have considered Griffin to be an old soul since his infancy, today Griffin enters the rank of teenager. It's a weird thing to know that I'm heading to the Wine Bar tonight to work rather than preparing to share a special meal with my boy, but, I know his Dad has things covered. I was fully present the afternoon he arrived 13 years ago and, on his request, we'll enjoy dinner tomorrow, May Day, at Cafe Capriccio. At least there will be someone joyfully greeting the month of May. 

Ted's Fish Fry - Wolf Road

My oldest son is an unusual kid with a wide range of interests. He loves history and trains and inexplicably NASCAR and Broadway musicals and opera. A real renaissance guy. When it was time for him to choose where he wanted to eat for his recent birthday, he had a local request and a suggestion for when we're in the city this weekend that clearly illustrate his divergent tastes. Local choice: a fish fry, NYC: Bobby Flay's Bar Americain. Yep, that's my Liam!

Based on a good friend's recommendation, we ventured up to Wolf Road Tuesday night to indulge in some fried fish, despite middle son's repeated admonishings that "fish are friends not food." Whatever - bring on the cod!

We've been to the Ted's in Troy and enjoyed the classic drive in quality to the joint. This location is different, more comfortable for sitting, more modern. We stood to the side of the counter and consulted to determine our order and stepped up to the man behind the counter prepared with our dinner request. Well...the man at the counter was a bit rude intimidating and my efficiency really was tested as he barked, sometimes at me, sometimes at the line cooks behind him. It was so extreme that I was left wondering if they have some sort of shtick a la Soup Nazi. We suffered through his inhospitable disposition, placed our order (2 fish fry platters, 1 chicken tenders, 10 mild buffalo wings, 1 bowl of New England clam chowder, 1 small order of onion rings and 3 beverages and a water. $46 + a tip for the pleasant (or "hot" as my youngest boy declared. Loudly) teen aged girl who rang us up.

We sat with our drinks while our food was cooked and observed that the counter guy was consistent with his lack of warmth, but when the Lilly boys retrieved the food and served me (!), it was all worth it.  Piping hot, crispy, moist...absolutely delicious. The fish was served with a sort of concoction that I can only describe as the bastard child of tartar sauce and cocktail sauce.  Red, relish-y and sweet. I wanted to take photos but was concerned that I would upset the counter guy and that was a risk I was unwilling to take. Liam did not offer me a taste of his chowder, but he said it was terrific and, more importantly, he shared his oyster crackers with his brothers. Speaking of sharing, I ordered only a small portion of onion rings because the boys indicated they weren't too interested in them. Well, I think I got maybe two of those rings - and that was after I wrestled one away from Quinn. Sorry, baby boy, mommy really needed that ring. We'll get the large order next time. The fries were forgettable and the cole slaw tasty, with a peppery bite offset by a vinegary sharpness. The chicken tenders looked really good, while the mild wings were a little more spicy than I would have expected, but the had a nice crispness to them and were perfectly sauced - not dry, not too messy. Not a single complaint about the food could be made.

All in all, probably the best fish fry we've had in the area, good value, comfortable spot (counter ogre aside), and decent location. We'll be back!

15 years of parenthood

Fifteen years ago today, on the warmest February 27th on record in Albany, I became a parent.  While I've spent the last decade and a half teaching my son about life, the world and his family, I would be remiss in not acknowledging all the things he has taught me.  

1.  His birth, from the earliness of his arrival (5+weeks premature) to the method of delivery
(c-section) taught me that despite a combination of meticulous planning and the miracle of
conception, being a parent is often about yielding control.
2.  My post delivery drugged condition left me with very little interest in holding my new baby
boy.  His dad demonstrated the beauty of paternal love and attention as he cradled his son
in his arms.  Beautiful.
3.  Life changes with parenthood, but balance remains important.  People who have nothing to
talk about other than their children are tedious.
4.  Exposing children to travel and culture from an early age is as valuable as any formal
education they will ever receive.
5.  There is no pain that my children have suffered that I wouldn't gladly absorb as my own.  
Since this isn't possible, my job is to help them develop tools for dealing with negative
situations and experiences.
6.  Providing my boys with a healthy mixture of reality and possibility is an inspiring part of
being a parent.
7.  Time moves quickly.  Really quickly.  I lost my breath recently considering that in 3 or 4
short years Liam will be in college.  Wow.
8.  Children come with their own preferences.  Accepting these preferences is an excellent
exercise.
9.  My ridiculous rate of speed and multitasking is not a realistic thing to expect from my
children.  I've been told a number of times that I need to stop giving multiple directions
simultaneously.  I'm working on it.   
10.  Having my first baby at 30 was pretty ideal.  I can't imagine having started my family any
sooner than that.
11.  Traveling with children is like taking two trips - yours and theirs.  Twice as cool,
frequently twice as exhausting.
12.  Seeing how other people perceive your child is fascinating.  
13.  From their first steps, children are preparing to walk away from their parents.  It's ok!!  
They'll have so much to share when the come back home again.
14.  I always imagined myself as a "girl" mom.  I was wrong.
15.  Fifteen years have gone faster than I ever could have imagined.  There is nothing like
parenthood to teach the value of time.

Royal treatment at the Emperor's Palace

Fried squid

Yesterday was the youngest Lilly princes' birthday, and as we usually do, we went to his favorite Chinese place, Emperor's Palace, to celebrate. Now I'd say there are probably 20 Chinese restaurants that are closer to our DelSo home, but Emperor's Palace is special. It's where the boys developed their obsession with Peking Duck and Fried Squid with sea salt and peppers. It's the place where I ate the night before Quinn was born, when my labor was finally beginning to become serious instead of just teasingly annoying. And it is where we go, apparently, when we have no money. Huh?  Say what?

Roast duck wonton and noodle soup

Here's what happened... I was hungry. Really, really hungry. When I arrived home to pick up the boys following my class at the Y, I couldn't get on the road fast enough. We hauled up to Wolf Road, with an intended quick stop at Toys R Us for one last birthday gift. As Quinn and I got out of the car, I realized (with a barely restrained expletive) that I had forgotten to bring my handbag. After a fast mental inventory (how long could that take, right?), I accepted that I was going to have to go back home to get my new happy wallet, but then Liam said he had some cash. Stopping on a dime and reassessing the situation, I decided to buy the $10 gift with Liam's money and then hit another Chinese place for dinner. The Wine Bar guys had enjoyed a recent meal at Shining Rainbow and I figured we could give that a shot instead. Present purchased, we got back in the car to head home.

Peking duck

Then, I had a thought...we've been eating at Emperor's for so many years that maybe they would consider allowing us to eat and then call them with the necessary bank card info to pay for our meal. The boys and I consulted and agreed it was worth a shot. I pulled into the Emperor's parking lot and went inside where I was greeted by a big smile from the two male servers who have been there forever. I explained my dilemma, not even playing the birthday card. Without hesitation, they agreed and I went out to retrieve the elated boys. And we had a killer dinner. In a world of chain restaurants and mediocre customer service, it is such a treat to go to an authentic Chinese restaurant and feel so completely at home. 

7 things you might not know about Quinn Lilly

1. He was born on Chinese New Year (Year of the Rooster).
2. He has been described as "formidable."  At the time, he was 2.
3. He is funny - really, really funny.
4. He possesses an uncanny ability to mimic voices and accents.
5. He has a fantastic memory.
6. He has a generous heart.
7. He is now 7!!

Thankful for November

While the 11th month of the year contains merely a single day for us to officially express our thanks, I feel compelled to acknowledge my appreciation for the past 30 days. What an amazing month November was! The warmer than usual weather provided the perfect backdrop to 30 days of fun and productivity - one of my favorite couplings.

I don't know how I neglected to devote an entire post to the best (it beat out the Sausage Fest by a link nose) party of the year - my brother, Tommy's,  Big Bourbon Birthday Bash celebrated 11/10-11/13 in Syracuse. Yes, it really took nearly 3 days to celebrate a non-milestone birthday!  His actual birthday is 11/11 so you can think of it as 1 day of festivities per 11 in the date.  Or simply think of it as a slightly selfish, valiant attempt at reliving our youth - with the benefit of disposable income. 

There's the gang - ALL these years later...

The theme of indulgence was definitely present with the trail runs I took this past month - Saratoga State Park, Albany Muni, Colonie's Crossings - no hilly path was exempt from my plodding feet.  You know I love running, but this trail running thing is kind of like running with the random cartwheel thrown in to keep things interesting.  Challenging and endorphin -inducing. 

And, then there was Thanksgiving...my dinner with the boys was scheduled for the Saturday after the actual holiday and I think we had an excellent dinner.  The food was delish (don't you find this to be an easy meal to prepare?) and we shared our table with an appreciative friend - as the season demands.  And those turkey-stuffing-cranberry-arugula-mayo sandwiches always make me wonder why I don't roast a turkey more often. 

As the month drew to a close, I found it impossible to recall a better November.  Ever.  Friends, physical activity, food...all means to share love and honor life.  This must be the reason Thanksgiving precedes the holidays that have come to represent  a consumption of things, rather than a celebration of spirit. 

I got a restaurant for my birthday!!!

Ok, so maybe I didn't actually get a restaurant for my birthday, but I (along with the rest of you lucky Capital District denizens) did get a great new dining option. The Capital City Gastropub opened for business last night and it truly felt like a gift.  This place rocks!  Yes, yes, I work for Kevin Everleth at his Lark Street restaurant, but, I assure you, there is no nepotism in my assessment.  The CCG is the perfect spot for a date, a night out with friends or an evening meal with the family - it just has so much to offer.

Although Kevin took possession of the space less than a month ago there have been some positive improvements, with more still to come, of the interior.  Were you here when it was Pasquale's?  I always loved their pizza, but found it to be a bit pricey when feeding 3 hungry boys who can each pack away 3-4 slices each, especially when the pizza has a divine thin crust.  Anyway, the configuration is similar to what it was in the past with an open kitchen and seating for 40+.  Eventually there will be an actual bar with seating, which is a good thing - they're going to need all the chairs they can find.  Last night at about 7:30 when we arrived, there were not many tables available, and that was without any real advertising.  This place is going to be busy!

Kerry and Jason

I have to say, the most challenging part of the evening was deciding what to eat.  And drink.  There are so many directions that the menu can take you - vegetarian?  Pizza?  Daily meat, fish, vegetarian or sliders options?  Oh my goodness - I haven't even mentioned the beer list or the wine selection...this place will require many visits to cover the tantalizing options offered. 

I want to get this post up right now in case you don't have dinner plans.  I will revisit it tomorrow with some more details...

Beautiful beer taps

Pork Belly Banh-mi

Fried Smelts

Angus hangar steak frites - marrow Bordelaise

Fish Tacos (!!!)

45 Things I've learned this year

1.  I prefer my surgery with local anaesthesia.
2.  There is a huge difference between having one's heart broken and having your ego
     stomped on. The first situation requires time to heal, the later demands a realistic
     examination of what the relationship really meant means.
3.   Part time parenting is the dirty little secret of divorce. That's all I'm saying and I'm quoting
      someone else.
4.   After a couple of 5Ks, a Warrior Dash and a sprint triathlon or two, I know I'm up for more
      physical challenges at age 45 than I was at 35. Or 25.
5.   Being alone and lonely is an improvement on being with someone and lonely.
6.   Writing is a path.
7.   The lines on my face are not from sleeping on my stomach. I'd better get used to them.
8.  There is a deep irony in losing one's ability to see close-up while simultaneously
     beginning to grow rogue hair in random places. Jury is still out on whether diminished
     vision is a curse or a blessing.
9.  I'm happy to get away from home for adventures but content to be in my home - even
     alone.Where ever you go, there you are.
10. My brother and friends, both old and new, continue to be amazing sources of stability,
      support and nonjudgmental love.
11. Speaking of love, I feel blessed to have as much love in my life as I do. Opening one's
      heart and letting go of the negative creates space for the positive.
12. Relationships may change over time, but common interests like children, cycling and food
      can keep a friendship alive.
13. Never believe all the decisions in life have already been made. Choices always remain.
14. Exercise, particularly running these days, is a sanity saver.
15. It is wonderful to work for a restaurant owner who understands owning a restaurant is a
      professional endeavor not a vanity project.
16. Having good credit is an often minimized reward in life.
17. Ice cream and alcohol make summer fun. They also make me about 5 lbs heavier.
18. I am much more productive when I am busy.
19. I don't know why or how, but apparently I sometimes inspire people. I hope the    
      inspiration I provide is to live a full life.
20. The challenges in life merely make the sweet spots more special.
21. I have a new found appreciation for exercising when the temperature is high.
22. I'm not that difficult, much less impossible, to take care of.
23. Milk, and other dairy products, from Meadowbrook Farms are a luxury I am willing to work
      into my budget as a necessary expense.
24. Children accept change with grace when it is accompanied by honesty.
25. Being healthy makes everything better.
26. Speaking my mind, with as much sensitivity as the circumstances demand, is best for
      everyone involved.
27. People are capable of things never imagined - both good and bad.
28. Endorphins are real. And addictive.
29. Grocery shopping can be fun!
30. Love comes from places not previously imagined.
31. Life has many chapters. Not every character makes the leap from one chapter to the
      next. This is okay.
32. Worrying is less productive than work.
33. Sleep becomes less necessary with age.
34. I have a latent competitive streak that surprises me.
35. Acceptance and surrender are very different emotions.
36. I will not tolerate feeling invisible.
37. I don't have many regrets in life but, those I do have, constantly remind me to avoid
      accumulating any more.
38. I love buying wine by the case!
39. There is nothing so heady as falling in love.
40.  Words are very powerful to me, but without action they lose their mojo.
41.  I've never been more optimistic about the future.
42.  The Capital City Gastropub is going to rock this town.
43.  It doesn't really matter where you are.  It's all about who you're with.
44.  Feeling excited about tomorrow is invigorating.
45.  Being in love is the best drug in the world.  Maybe even the universe.

Birthday Friends

For about 30 years I've exchanged birthday wishes with my dear friend, Brian, who had the courtesy of being born a day before me, thus ensuring he will always be my elder. Through the years there have been cards exchanged, in person, via traditional mail, and online. Almost every year we have spoken on both his birthday and then my birthday to convey birthday greetings. I have come to mark Bri's September birthday as not merely a precursor to my birthday, but as an event in and of itself worthy of the heartiest celebration - and believe me, we've done that.  Many, many times.

Last year, my newish neighbor, Ken, and I determined that we share a common birthday. And, while I am a firm believer that one's birthday is their very own special holiday, I'm sincerely ok sharing mine with Ken. As long as there is a bottle of wine involved, that is.

I started thinking recently about how friends flow in, and sometimes out, of our lives. It's almost as if we, as individuals, send out some sort of cosmic message which attracts people to us at different points in our lives. People who seemingly have very different interests or experiences suddenly are more similar to us than previously thought and connections are made. And, amazingly enough, these individuals bring with them, in addition to their own personalities, a group of people - partners and friends and families. Isn't it magnificent?

Birthdays and friends are two things I will never complain about having more of in my life - there will always be room for a few more of each of them.

Warning! Birthday week has officially begun...

Yasmine and I slapped hands in the corner tonight and, as a tag team of birthday celebrants, officially transitioned (in my mind, at least) from her birthday to mine.  Or, at a minimum, we agreed to share the next few days as mutual birthday space or something like that.  Bottom line: this entire week will be spent acknowledging birthdays (mostly mine) and milestones and transitions, some things I've learned in my most recent year of living, and what the next year may bring.

Suffice it to say, this evening was lovely.  Dinner at Capriccio, as always, was dynamite (such a Jim Rua word!) and I only wish for more hours in the day to spend with those I love.  And, how has Franco's incredible pizza not garnered a nomination in AOA's Tournament of Pizza 2011?  People, really?  Get there!

Pizza with mission figs and house made prosciutto 

Stay tuned for epic self-indulgence this week as I intend to celebrate my mid-40's marker with enthusiasm and good humor. And a smile.

AOA 3rd Birthday Party

What a great party! Wednesday night, Mary and Greg hosted a fun party at The Point on upper Madison Avenue, and going out on a limb, I'd say a good time was had by all. Lots of other more fussy and thorough bloggers have covered the finer details, especially the cheese selection and the paella. Here are  pictures of 2 of my favorite things from the party. Yeah, that's right, cool buttons and cupcakes. The buttons were made by Laura Glazer using Lori Hansen's drawings. I took a full set of four and currently have them strung together on a piece of ribbon making an AOA bracelet of sorts. The cupcakes? Well, believe me, they're gone, baby, gone.

Congratulations AOA - 3 great years and one terrific birthday party.

Pool Party!

You try wrangling 10 boys in a pool for a picture!

One of the challenges of parenthood is making decisions on the behalf of another living, breathing human being.  I mean, seriously, there’s quite a bit of pressure from the very beginning.  Consider the naming process or the choice of a pediatrician – there’s lots of room for error, trust me. 

While I had considered many of the potential parenting decisions in advance of pregnancy, I had not considered the task of party planning prior to bringing home the first of my three boys.  Suddenly, I now had to come up with a theme and a venue and food and goodie bag items – yikes!  Although I was a bit overwhelmed and, ok, maybe a little overly concerned with making things perfect (until this moment I hadn’t thought for years about how I discarded one of the layers of carrot cake for my oldest son’s first birthday cake and re-baked a replacement layer at the crack of dawn, because I thought it was a tad over baked), as I’ve added additional boys to the mix, I’ve brought my expectations down to a more realistic level. I’ve come to recognize that a successful child's birthday party is one that includes an opportunity for kids to exert themselves either physically or creatively and concludes with some form of cake.  It really can be just that simple.

We have two February birthdays at our house and coming up with a winter party that contains a physical component for a dozen+ children can be a challenge, particularly when the kids are too young to spend an extended time outdoors.  We’re not fans of chain party places (or packaged Halloween costumes, but that’s another story) but fortunately the Center for the Disabled on South Manning Blvd in Albany, has the perfect pool/party room for a group of kids to blow off some steam.  Allow me to share the details…

well equipped party room

Pool parties are generally scheduled for Saturday afternoons between 12:45-2:30 and can include up to 15 children.  The pool is a balmy 94 degrees and is well divided (by a wheelchair ramp) into shallow and deep ends, making it perfect for the non-swimmer.  The shallow end is really shallow – like  24” deep  and there is a bench built in for moms and dads who feel like joining in the fun albeit in a lazy fashion. There are also some jets to add to the overall hot tub experience.   Noodles and other toys are available for game playing and well equipped locker rooms are just a door away from the pool deck.  The pool party includes 45 minutes in the pool followed by an hour of access to the party room down the hall.  We usually pre-order a few pizzas and arrange to have them delivered at about 1:30.  An hour for pizza and cake may seem tight, but, believe me you’ll be ready to see the little cherubs packed up and on their way.  The price for this much fun?  $75 plus your food, beverage and goodie bag loot. 

For more information about birthday parties and/or swim lesson availability contact Rich at  518.437.5714. 

Other swim party options:  The Albany JCCC

                                            Capital District YMCA (various locations)

Sunday Supper - Lakehouse Edition

We are finally wrapping up Tom's 50th birthday extravaganza with a family & friends gathering in Massachusetts at my brother-in-law's place.  After a hot and humid welcome back this week, yesterday was the first day I cooked anything more involved than grilled cheese or turkey dogs and, I must admit, it felt pretty good to get back in there.  

We wanted to keep things pretty simple and not have to fuss when we could be swimming or lazing around, so I tried to make items that would be prepped in advance.  Continuing to riff on the Tuscany theme seemed to make sense so I decided on a panzanella salad and tiramisu to start and end the meal.  I've made panzanella before - it is truly the perfect way to throw together summer's bounty in one bowl, but I really played with it this time around.  Operating on the premise that most anything tastes better when grilled, I grilled all the veggies for the salad - other than the tomatoes, cuke and the fennel.  It's nice to have a bit of crunch, too.  For vegetables I chose red peppers, zucchini, portobella mushrooms and red onion.  The zucchini were cut into thick discs which I brushed with olive oil.  I left the mushrooms whole during grilling and gave them a little brush of olive oil as well.  After the veggies were all cooled, everything got a coarse chop, a dash of sea salt and a toss to mix in a large bowl.  I julienned the fennel and chopped the cucumber and added them to the mix along with a drained jar of capers, a big handful of chopped basil, some cubes of fresh mozzarella and about 3/4 cup of nicoise olives.  This morning I finished things up by adding 3 chopped tomatoes and a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic to the bowl of veggies.  I hollowed out a round loaf of sourdough and then tore the insides of the loaf into chinks which I places on a baking sheet.  A 1/3 of a cup of olive oil was warmed with 3 minced cloves of  garlic which I then tossed with the bread chinks and warmed in the oven until crunchy.  The bread was introduced to the vegetables and the combined ingredients were then spooned into the bread bowl.  Done.

We originally planned to grill steaks, burgers and hot dogs but I got a hankering for something a bit more interesting.  Leg of lamb was the answer!  We called Falvo's and asked them to prepare a butterflied piece for 12 adults.  $47 later (which really seems like a fair price for the beautiful, hand cut piece of lamb) we were in business.  Fairly recently I was at some appointment (nails, dentist) and the television was tuned to Rachael Ray as she prepared a leg of lamb and I let that be my inspiration.  Now, you Racheal Ray haters, she never claimed to be a chef, nor do I, and I do appreciate the simplicity that she brings to the table.  I poked some slits into the lamb and inserted slices of fresh garlic into them.  Next came a generous sprinkling of coarse salt and ground pepper.  And to finish - a bath of olive oil, mustard, lemon juice and chopped rosemary.  We'll grill that bad boy up later.

We're wrapping things up tonight with tiramisu and limoncello.  My tiramisu isn't traditional - I don't add eggs for starters, but everyone who has sampled it seems to enjoy it.  I soften marscapone and then beat it until smooth.  Next heavy cream, vanilla and sugar get combined to make a whipped cream which I fold together with the marscapone.  I add a generous amount of kahlua and a splash (or two) of sambuca to strong (cooled) brewed coffee in a flat bottomed pie pan.  And then the assembly process begins.  You've got to move fast at this point because the lady's fingers disintegrate in no time flat after they've been dunked in the coffee.  I used a large, glass pan this time around because I'm making enough to serve a gang of 12 or 15.  Place the pan of coffee right next to the dish you're assembling the tiramsu in.  You'll immediately understand why when you dunk your first row of lady's fingers.  It's a pretty simple process of dunk, place and top with a generous layer of the whipped marscapone cream.  Repeat.  I usually do two layers and finish by dusting the top with cocoa powder.  Refrigerate. 

So - that's our plan for the afternoon.  What do you have going on?

See you all in July...

The epic Lilly family vacation to Tuscany and London begins this afternoon with a road trip to JFK.  From there we fly to London and then continue (with an airport change) to Pisa.  We should be settled into our villa by Saturday afternoon, EST, which means approximately 24 hours of traveling.  It will all be worth it when we are able to explore this beautiful area and hopefully, it will be an experience which our entire family will never forget. I promise to return with stories, photos and memories to share.

And, just in case you forgot why we were taking this wonderful trip - please look closely at the photo...can you see the #50?

Mt Rainier to Italy in 6 Years

Six summers ago our family took a trip to Washington and Oregon.  While there, we spent a few days with some old friends in a cabin on Mt. Rainier - I think there were 3 other couples.  We talked about the future and the milestone half-century mark to be celebrated by a couple of the guys in 2010.  I promised Tom that we would spend his 50th birthday in Italy, Tuscany specifically.  I was pregnant with Q, so I can't even blame it on alcohol - I made the vow and there was no going back.

Last year I began, in my typical advance planning fashion, to try to organize the long promised trip.  I touched base with the individuals remaining from the disintegrated couples, and everyone was verbally on board with the trip.  I found an awesome villa, at a terrific price, in a location which I thought would suit all involved and sent some more emails out to the crew.  That's when things started to go wrong. 

Have you ever planned a group trip?  This was my first, as well as last, attempt at putting together a trip for anyone other than my immediate family.  The first problem was the date - it didn't work for one couple due to their own responsibilities.  Understood and accepted, however, since the trip was in honor of Tom's birthday, there really wasn't much I could do (without a time machine and the ability to go back to 1959 when he was conceived) to alter the date.  Sorry.  The next issue was that the space wasn't large enough to accommodate everyone.  Ok, how about if the folks who need more room than is available, locate a nearby place?  Wouldn't that be easy enough?  But, no, the demise of the original crew had begun and there was no stopping the death spiral as it headed towards Earth.  What a buzz kill.

Despite all the nonsense - the lack of commitment, the sometimes hurt feelings, the disappointment, the realizations about who you can truly count on, this trip is finally happening.  Next week we fly to Tuscany to stay in that lovely villa with three friends and three Lilly boys, of course.  And we are going to have a fantastic time.  More details to follow.

Emperor's Palace

At our house one of the birthday traditions is that the honoree gets to choose dinner and their cake. I will devote this post to the dinner - the cake was a bit complicated and will require an additional post. This year (and last year, if I remember correctly) Griffin requested Chinese food on his birthday; specifically Emperor's Palace. All of those discussions about independent restaurants seem to be making an impact on our children and it is extremely gratifying to think we are doing something right, in terms of parenting. Hey - you take it when you can get it.

We've been fans of Emperor's Palace since their days on Lark Street and it is the place we go to for both birthday celebrations and pre-birth meals. Quick story to explain "pre-birth meals:" When I was in early labor for Quinn, Tom & I did a lot of walking - laps around Stuyvesant Plaza, Sears to Macy's at Colonie Center, etc. We crossed Wolf Road to grab a bite to eat at Emperor's Palace, (I think we may have had the stuffed eggplant for it's reputed labor inducing properties), and the waiter promised me that I would have my baby the next day, Chinese New Year. And I did. Ok, back to the birthday instead of the birth day....

We are definitely hooked on a couple of items at Emperor's. Their fried squid with salt and hot peppers (pictured above on left) is fantastic almost every time. Once in a great while it is chewy, but not last week - it was hot, crispy yet tender and salty. And the four of us devoured it in no time flat. I ordered the Har Kow (above on right) which are always good - flavorful, soft on the outside and filled with shrimp. I love these things and it took great restraint for me not to eat all of them myself, but I did manage to bring some home for the husband and they reheated in the microwave fairly well. We also had an order of pork dumplings, which we requested steamed but arrived fried instead. No biggie. These were primarily for the boys and they are years away from worrying about fat calories or cholesterol. And how could I send them back after the waiter told me I was "so very kind?"

Griffin requested Peking Duck aka as the one dish the entire family will eat. We've had this dish in four different (Montreal, NYC, D.C., Philadelphia) Chinatowns and Emperor's Palace does a nice job with it, although my absolute favorite was in Philadelphia where they actually made a quick soup from the duck and served it as an additional course. The steamed buns, scallions and thick hoisin sauce make for some tasty little sandwiches when they are paired with the crispy and moist duck meat. Quinn had his go to dish - sesame chicken and I rounded the feast out with an order of Chinese broccoli with garlic sauce.

One of the nicest things, for my family, about Emperor's Palace is the service. The two or three regular servers remember us, always remark on the how big the children are getting and graciously take care of us. We've had excellent food from CCK, and I'm willing to give Ala Shanghai another shot, but Emperor's Palace is the place where we always feel like royalty. D'oh!

Snake Eyes

Eleven years ago today, after a seemingly endless labor, Griffin Hudson joined our family. The birth of that boy was one of my proudest moments; an affirmation that I could, in fact, deliver a healthy, full term baby. Unlike this year's premature version of spring, that particular spring arrived simultaneously with our new baby. I remember driving home from St. Peter's on Hackett Blvd, and seeing that all the tulips had popped open, mimicking somehow the birthing process I had recently experienced.

While Liam had been a placid baby, Griffin was demanding. He didn't spend more than a dozen nights in his crib and refused to cry himself out. The only place he contentedly slept was in our bed, so we caved and allowed it. I understand that all the baby books say that this is "wrong," but I know that this physical closeness created a child who loves giving and receiving affection. I remember once waking up in the middle of the night and rolling towards him, only to see that his eyes were wide open, burning like embers as he stared at the ceiling. He is an an old soul and has caused me on more than one occasion to consider the possibility of reincarnation. And since he has a history of struggling with telling the truth, I suspect his current life may not be his last.

I feel deeply connected to each of my children and can't yet imagine the day that we no longer share the same roof. Griffin and I have a special connection because I honestly know how his mind works. It is weird, but I can often see what he is thinking, which definitely impacts his ability to lie to me and get away with it. Although I think he resembles Tom the most of all our boys, he is the one, I believe, is most like me in personality and temperament. And that's no lie, despite the fact that he likes hugs.

Liam @13

Thinking back 13+ years ago to when Tom & I decided to start a family, I was convinced I could control everything. This belief was only affirmed when I got pregnant on our first attempt and my due date (April 5th) fit perfectly with my academic calendar. I truly believed that I was in charge! I had a wonderful pregnancy, completely uncomplicated. Very early in the morning on 2/27, I got up to pee - again. An aside here: I am continually amazed by the body's own wisdom and sincerely believe that the reason pregnant women pee so frequently around the clock is to prepare them for never sleeping more than 3 or 4 consecutive hours again. When I returned to bed and laid down, oddly enough, I peed some more. Hmmm. Back to the bathroom. I repeated this 2 or 3 times before it occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't in fact peeing myself (what a relief!), but instead might be leaking amniotic fluid. Since I wasn't experiencing any contractions and I didn't feel it necessary to bother my midwives so early in the morning, I tried to go back to sleep.

At about 9 a.m. Tom  I headed to the medical practice. Yep, amniotic fluid. Time to go home, gather a couple of things together for my imagined Bradley birth and meet this baby 5 + weeks early. There went my schedule. After arriving at the hospital I was given an ultrasound and learned that my baby was transverse, or sideways, i. e. this baby was not coming out the preferred way. There went my natural childbirth along with my midwife, in came a obstetrician and a C-section. Wait - this wasn't what I imagined - planned - expected. Oh - this is what parenthood is like - adapting, doing what is best for your child even at your own physical and emotional expense.

Liam was born at 4:24 p.m. to the sound of Van Morrison. He was perfect in every visible way - other than the fact that it took some time before he "unfolded" himself - he had seemingly had his legs straight with his feet up around his head and still was inclined to be in an awkward position. He was beautiful. The surgery was completely awful for me - I hate those kinds of drugs and I felt incredibly removed from the process. The recovery room was a blur and I only have some vague memories of Tom holding our boy and staring at him with wonder.

The care we received in the hospital over the next 3 days was sub-par at best, criminal at worst. Liam and I learned how to nurse and we were sent home with an appointment to be seen by our pediatrician (the only one we had interviewed prior to his early arrival) in a week. I won't rehash all of the circumstances that followed our discharge (I think I've only recently been able to remember those days without feeling as if I were back in those days, moments I prefer to never relive), but needless to say, there were complications - problems - serious issues.

It seemed that Liam had a birth defect - one that occurs in 1 out of 700 births, yet despite the additional people present in the operating room mandated because of Liam's gestation of less than 35 weeks, no one detected it. This birth defect, a cleft in his soft palate, prevented him from nursing effectively and he was essentially starving to death. Those of you who were around at that time remember how dire the circumstances were - we almost lost him. Those 3 1/2 weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit were the most intense, exhausting days of my life, but I sure learned a lot in those days about parenthood. About advocating for my child, about listening to myself and that voice in my head telling me that something wasn't right, about doctors not always take good care of their patients and their needing to be held accountable.
I will always carry with me a sense of responsibility and guilt that Liam had to suffer for my lack of parenting wisdom. The early intervention, the speech therapy, the PT and OT, the Special Ed...we all worked so hard to get Liam to the place he should have arrived at effortlessly. And what does all this mean on this snowy day when we celebrate Liam's birthday? Well, for me, it means that parenthood is the highest of tightropes, a balance between taking control and knowing when to yield. It means that despite all of one's planning and scheduling, children do what they're going to do and all I can do is try to prepare them for a world which, unfortunately, doesn't always have their backs. And it means that I will never allow anyone to dismiss me when it comes to the well-being of my children - ever.

So today, Liam, we celebrate you and the miracle you truly are. XX