On parasites and pregnancy and cancer(s)

When I learned I was pregnant with my oldest son, I was surprised and thrilled.  Surprised, because I had taken a number of pregnancy tests with negative results, and thrilled, because my only request for my 30th birthday was to be pregnant.  Mission accomplished.  While I was deeply excited with the knowledge that my beloved and I were venturing down a previously unexplored path together, there was a smidgen of something else that I was feeling; something small and irrational...a sense that something foreign was germinating inside of me.  A parasite of unimagined proportions which was growing in a way that made me a bit uncomfortable.  There were so many things that could go wrong that if I allowed my mind to take off,  I was quickly overwhelmed.  So, I talked myself down from the ledge and chose to think positive thoughts only.  We know where that got me.

Last week, I left the hospital in a pretty good mental way.  The surgeon was very optimistic that my tumor was benign and that the pathology report would only confirm her impressions.  Sitting in her office this morning I reflected on the week since my surgery.  I thought about how well I had been sleeping after weeks of insomnia.  I considered that maybe I shouldn't have been quite so quick to embrace the good news, perhaps I should have held off on the internal congratulations I had been quietly enjoying this past week.  Maybe she was wrong and that little lump of tissue was hiding some secret vengeance, poised to do damage to my body for reasons I will never understand.  And it was.  Malignant.  Again. 

But,  its gone - relegated to a slide to be studied and evaluated and appraised by "the team."  I don't need any further treatment at this point - no chemo or radiation, just monitoring with a frequency reminiscent of pregnancy.  I haven't cried yet, but I know I will. I just don't like witnesses.

So, what have I learned 14 years, 3 children and 2 cancers later?   Well, there are things that are wonderful and amazing that have grown inside of me and there are things which are scary and ugly.  I remember moments after Liam's birth when I wished he were back inside my womb, safe and protected, while I have felt nothing but relief to expel the traitorous cells that together make a cancerous tumor.  There are some things that leave my body behind and become individual, independent beings whom I celebrate, and there are those that leave my body by a force sharper than labor pains and take with them pieces of my psyche that , unfortunately, I don't expect to truly possess ever again.  

Thank goodness that I had that third sweet, baby boy because the score is still in my favor:  Lives Created = 3, Cancer Experiences = 2.  And life goes on.

The Class of 2010

The academic year is drawing to a close.  While there were times when I thought June would never arrive, of course, it did and with its arrival  I begin to feel a  familiar mixture of sadness and excitement.  Working with teenagers is a privilege and I truly love watching these kids grow up - what an amazing thing it is to see their eyes open and their wings unfurl.  Boys whom I first came to know as gangly freshman, are now semi-self-assured seniors, heading out to greet, and perhaps conquer, the world.  Awkward girls are growing into their powers and taking measure of what is the appropriate amount of self to give away.  So much hope and promise, so many goals and dreams.

Walking through the hallways is a melancholy stroll as the display cabinets which formerly boasted of our students' talents now reflect emptiness.  Their absence is already apparent.  The genius which had been duly exhibited for public appreciation has now been removed as the students prepare for their next step in life.   I've witnessed this transition more than a dozen times, yet each year it feels as if I am freshly experiencing this cycle of growth and change. The summer is filled with exciting prospects, but, for right now, I will try to hold on to these last days shared with this year's graduating seniors.  You know I wish you all the best.

image from zazzle.com

Sunday Supper!

It seems like a looong time since I've cooked a family meal, but Sunday was an excellent time to jump back into things.  How about those storms?  It really was a wonderful day to hang around the house watching the London broil marinate, making a few quarts of chicken stock and folding bushels of laundry.  Last week Price Chopper had the London broils buy 1 get 2 free, so we took advantage of that deal and tossed a couple in the freezer while reserving one for family night.  I marinated the beef in kecap menis (Seriously - have you gotten any of this yet??  What are you waiting for??), ginger, balsamic vinegar and fresh thai basil for most of the day before tossing it on a hot grill for approximately 15 minutes.  I must say, the steak was beautifully cooked - medium rare with a bit of a "crust" on the outside due to the carmellization of the palm sugar in the marinade.  Delicious! 

I paired the beef with some fiddleheads I found in the crisper.  I honestly think they've been in that drawer for about 10 days, but they survived their exile pretty well, and they sure were tasty after some time spent in the pan with bacon fat and minced garlic.  Ok - so what wouldn't be tasty with bacon fat and garlic? 

This was our first "open" Sunday in what seems like weeks of commitments and I couldn't have enjoyed the day more.  And, finally, 4 of the 5 Lillys at the dinner table ate the main course without bribes or threats.  The littlest Lilly is still balking at  meats, but he did some damage to a bowl of egg noodles drizzled with chicken stock.  I pick my battles, and if he prefers veggies and carbs to being a carnivore, I can certainly live with it.  Hope you all had an equally relaxing, pleasant Sunday.

Troy Farmer's Market

Since soccer was canceled due to weather (?) and I am on temporary gym restrictions, I finally had a chance to get to Troy for a visit to the Farmer's Market. I really wish we could make it to this special market more often, but perhaps it remains a treat because we get there so infrequently. I was on a bit of a mission yesterday seeking pumpkin plants for the new raised beds the neighbors put in their over-sized yard. Of course, I couldn't simply limit myself to such a small task, especially when there are delectable, organic leafy greens and strawberries available. And even though my deck has been decorated with colorful flowers for a few weeks already, I could not resist buying a big pot of cheery zinnias for $5. Also for $5, I bought a loaf of jalapeno-cheddar bread for the hubby to assist in his carb-loading in advance of the 75 km bike ride he was scheduled to complete on Sunday. It is a little disturbing how quickly money flies from my pocket when I shop at one of these markets, but it is gratifying to know that the $$ are going directly into the hands of the producers of the bountiful produce and goods.

An incomplete list of items available this week at the market: maple products, plants and flowers for gardens/pots, early root veggies, cider, herbs, greens, cut bouquets featuring peonies, baked goods, handmade marshmallows and craft items and prepared foods.

Wristbands

So...guess which of these wristbands was the most fun to wear? I'll give you a clue - it wasn't the one on the bottom nor was it the one on the top, which obviously leaves the one in the middle.

I had my surgery Thursday afternoon and everything went well. The surgeon was very pleased and feels reasonably confident that the tumor will turn out to be a benign mass which makes me 0 for 2 in terms of predicting cancer, a statistic with which I am quite comfortable. The AMC experience was really quite good and I felt well taken care of, although I continue to be, quoting my doctor, "an anesthesia lightweight." So be it.

The green wristband is from the "Biergarten" at SPAC and, ironically, it is guaranteed to be the only speck of green within the fenced-in area where adults may purchase incredibly overpriced beer and wine. Calling it a "Biergarten" is such a misnomer - hello, it is quite clearly a "Beer Cage." I was still feeling the effects of the wretched hospital pharmaceuticals and did not indulge in overpriced alcohol, however, with all the crackdowns in place, this was basically the only legal place to enjoy (?) a beer.

Now, that polka dotted wristband was my ticket to fun! Despite being released from the hospital a mere 6 hours earlier, I was committed to making the Dave Matthews Band show at SPAC, particularly since Dave is taking next summer off. I've lost count of how many DMB shows I've seen over the years, but they're always a good time, unless, of course, you're a puking or passed out dumb ass kid. Speaking of which, I really wish folks would embrace the concept of moderation, believe me, we would all have a better time. We had awesome balcony seats (my preference after the year when the frat boys rushed from the lawn into the amphitheater like a bunch of snot nosed, entitled brats), and I genuinely enjoyed the show until I hit the proverbial wall. Not staying for the entire show was beat, but I consoled myself with the fact that I would be chaperoning the senior ball the very next evening at the Hall of Springs, and the knowledge that I would be in better form for the Bethel Woods show in July. Overall, it wasn't the best DMB show I've ever seen, but it sounds like the last 45 minutes were smoking. If anyone has an extra recording, please pass it my way...

Thank you for all the positive thoughts and well wishes which came my way. I truly appreciate it. Summer 2010 is beginning to look better and better. :)

Eating - NYC Edition

When I go to the city with the girls, food usually comes in second or third place, in terms of priorities. I mean, we all like to eat and enjoy a good meal, but shopping and drinking destinations (not necessarily in that order) usually trump dining options. Fortunately, we know our way around the city pretty well and can always find a restaurant that fits in with the rest of our itinerary of debauchery.

The West Village and Chelsea are my most familiar stomping grounds, but, this trip was more midtown based. Did I mention we stayed at the Roosevelt? This is a great location if you're coming into Grand Central Station and if you're obsessed with Don Draper, since this is where he generally stays when he and the wife are having problems. I Pricelined the room and stole it for $150, leaving plenty of cash for other pursuits.

Since one of the girls wanted to check out her friend's jam session at P and G Cafe, we were kind of committed to the UWS. Rosa Mexicano's Lincoln Center location was the perfect choice for a delicious, reasonably priced meal. Despite not having a reservation, we easily scored a lovely table upstairs and were well taken care of for the duration of our meal. We ordered indulgently and shared everything, starting with the guacamole, which is made tableside and served with a basket of warm handmade tortillas. Fantastic, as always. We also had an order of Zarape de Pato (Layered Duck Tortilla Pie) and the Tortilla Soup. The duck was incredible - tender, moist and extremely flavorful. I had never had Tortilla Soup before and am glad I waited to lose my "virginity" at Rosa Mexicano - complete satisfaction. We had three entrees served simultaneously - the Tablones (beef short ribs), and 2 enchilada variations; Suizas (chicken) and Jaiba (jumbo lump crab). It was the perfect amount of food for 4 hungry ladies trying to create a solid base for alcohol consumption and very little food was left behind. The short ribs were amazingly tender with a bit of smoky heat and the quality of the food and service were excellent.

On Day 2 we (and when I say "we", "she" knows whom I'm talking about) weren't feeling up to much of a meal early on. Breakfast was assorted deli food (bagel, fruit, yogurt, etc) enjoyed in beautiful Bryant Park. NYC travel trip: Bryant Park has the nicest public restrooms I've ever seen in the city. There was a washroom attendant who did not have a tip jar anywhere visible, but, I would have happily paid $1 to use the facilities - they really were that nice.

After our High Line jaunt we dropped into Colicchio & Sons for a beverage. I have zero experience with Tom Colicchio's food (being more of a Batali/Meyer whore), but I will definitely get back here with the hubby. The space was really nice, the menu was excitingly different and the beer and wine selections awesome. I had a glass of Rose' from Abruzzo which was perfectly refreshing on a hot afternoon. Our bartender, Erik, was hospitable and represented the restaurant really well. So well in fact, that I dropped a McGuire's business card on him and hope that he comes to Albany someday so I can return the professional courtesy.

We ended up grabbing lunch at the Grey Dog on W. 16th Street. Their menu was varied enough to make everyone happy and the food is fresh and reasonably priced. The tuna and avocado tacos were killer and the other items at my table (Cobb Salad, a Cuban pressed sandwich of pulled pork, ham and cheese, and a turkey sandwich) all looked tremendously appealing.

These Girl Trips to the city, or, as we were jokingly calling it "No-Sex in the City," are infrequent but consistently the best times. We return to our lives equally refreshed and exhausted - the perfect little escape until the next opportunity arises. How about you? Where do you go to recharge your fun battery?

High Line

It seems like I've been hearing about the High Line for awhile. Kind of a buzz that keeps growing in volume until it can no longer be ignored. A recent overnighter, with the girls, in NYC provided the perfect opportunity to finally explore this abandoned elevated rail line - and it really was spectacular. The High Line begins at the 34th street between 10 and 11th Avenues, but this northern piece is not yet open to the public. The accessible area, known as Section 1 runs from 20th street to Gansvoort and has a number of access points, including elevator service at both 14th and 16th Streets.

The day we visited was hot and sunny, yet the breeze coming off of the Hudson made the walk completely tolerable. The path was bordered with flowers and decorative grasses and there were panoramic views of the skyline and the river. We were concerned that the sun would be too blazing hot, but, honestly, it was delightful, even on a morning after a night of tequila. There is an area that is semi enclosed where the wind was downright gusty, but we had no choice but to pause and admire the beautiful stained glass mosaic windows that lined one side of the "shed."

As a park, the High Line is very much a work in progress. A water feature is currently being constructed and, obviously, there are about 14 more blocks of rail to be renovated and opened to the public before this attraction can be considered "finished," but, if you're looking to gain a new perspective on Chelsea, don't hesitate to visit NOW.