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| photo from gearfire.net |
What does it mean to you to be productive? It seems there are stages of productivity in life. My thirties were literally about producing babies and breast milk, in retrospect. I literally opened year 30 pregnant and was still nursing the little guy on my 40th birthday. I could show you the picture to prove it - holy D cup! The beginning of my 40s was transitional for me, but in a more private way than things now present themselves. I was beginning to produce some writing and photos that brought me pleasure, but there was nothing that I was prepared to share except on the smallest, most personal level. You know, like in a Christmas card or with immediate family. Certainly not out here in the virtual world of blogging.
And now? Now I feel myself being productive in an entirely new way, both public and intensely private. It's almost like what I'm producing is love, amor, agape, liebe and it is coming out of me in so many uncontainable ways. Always, words, words, words, but there's more than that. I have plants that are positively thriving under my attentions. It's like magic or kismet or the damnedest good karma. I can barely recall the day when I forced a decision with the boys' Dad: "The plants or the kids? I can't keep them all alive. Pick." But, somehow now I've got a good touch with my plants and I'm no longer afraid to accept the responsibility of taking care of them. A really, really good touch and that mostly dead fern my friend, Lisa, gave me last year is absolutely beautiful. I've never done anything but kill ferns in the past - in record time, as a matter of fact. My boys are doing great, physically, emotionally and academically, and I'm enjoying them immensely. There's been a marked expansion in my capacity to nurture, and no longer is there the question as to what has to give because I feel like I have so very much to give. And wouldn't you consider nurturing a type of productivity?
Over the weekend I thoroughly cleaned my house, prepared a delicious dinner of risotto and baked cookies. Despite opportunities to socialize and share a meal with friends in the DelSo, I opted to sit on my couch in my tidy home and enjoy the satisfaction of being alone and pleasantly tired. The efforts I invested over the course of my bonafide two day weekend paid off in aces for me, and I thoroughly appreciated the results of my work in the form of a bowl of greens and risotto with a glass of wine, followed by cookies and milk. Productivity looks and tastes pretty damn good.
When you give more to yourself, you have more to give.
ReplyDeleteThis is an active experiment in my life right now--the funny thing is, whatever "it" is, meaning the gift you give to yourself, I'm finding that it immediately pays off. If I eat healthy food and maintain a healthy weight, I'm spending less money on blood work, because I remain stable and not all over the place. If I spend $ on my wonderful therapist, I become more bold with pursuing work. If I spend $ on a housecleaner twice a month, I love working from home and earn the $ to cover it in my productivity. If I pay for my dojo, I'm strong enough to live on a top floor walkup in NYC. If I buy a cool grown up scooter, I don't pay for taxis and rarely the subway. If I give four hours a week over to learning French, I'll learn it and get back to Paris through an easier tunnel. Etc. Etc. I love this post, and of course, you!