Thursday, October 14, 2010

E.S.P. - or knowing something

Excitement.  Stimulation.  Provocativeness. 

If you've been in a relationship for any length of time, you know these are characteristics which often get lost amongst the piles of laundry and calendars containing far too many commitments. In the early years of a marriage, the loss of these ingredients is unimaginable, an impossible case of   "How could our love ever become a cliche?"  Well, folks, allow me to (over)share with you since it seems there is a conspiracy to keep these situations and emotions and personal failings a collective dark secret.

Marriage/relationships are hard to maintain as the focus shifts from one another, to the additions (children, property acquisition, career growth) being made to your circle of two.  The string which surrounds your pairing, regardless of what it is made, expands, stretches and on occasion, unravels.  Minus the emotions, it sounds so simple, doesn't it?   In our daily lives we unwittingly replace excitement with routine, stimulation with comfort and provocativeness with passivity, thus creating a perfect entry point for primal contributions to come from another. 

I don't believe the intent is ever to hurt the person we have vowed to honor, but communication deteriorates,  patterns and positions become firmly entrenched and the next thing you know, needs are being met beyond the boundaries.  I wish I could claim innocence myself - minimize my own culpability, but it would be insincere to portray myself in such a flattering light.  We each possess our own erogenous zones, and stroking between the ears can often require more effort than a caress in a more expected area of the body.  

I wish I understood why we (as a couple, as a society, take your pick) find it so difficult to ask for what we need.  Why do we expect the ones closest to us to permanently retain the telepathic connection originally forged in an earlier, more simple time?  

Effort.  Sincerity.  Patience

Characteristics which may lead us to the place we want to be.  Together.


  1. "Why do we expect the ones closest to us to permanently retain the telepathic connection originally forged in an earlier, more simple time?" I've never thought about this before, and it's incredibly thought provoking to me. I will be rolling this thought around and around-- thank you for articulating this. xo

  2. I am so impressed and grateful for your honesty and willingness to let time and thought guide your choices. Who was it who said, "The unexamined life is not worth living"? You are being a role model in living an examined life.